Uh oh, seems things were too good to be true in the good old Bundesrepublik. The Fatherland has been riding high the last few years, with the strongest economy in Europe, the best football team in the world, the moral high ground of leading the way by denouncing intolerance and welcoming refugees above and beyond all other western countries, and all the while having one of the greenest environmental and energy policies in the world.

Wow! How on Earth do they do it?

Simple: great PR and marketing to hide the fact that behind the scenes they lie, cheat, and steal!

Yes, the deceitful, world-dominating Teutonic culture of everyone’s nightmares has risen from the ashes! Made in Germany über alles!

Yes, in its drive to become the world’s largest automaker, ’DAS AUTO’ company of good old reliable Volkswagen, has thrown Germany into its biggest identity crisis in a long time. Apparently it’s really hard to build clean-burning diesel engines, which really shouldn’t be so surprising if you’ve ever driven behind any diesel car spewing black smoke into the atmosphere and your lungs. No, instead of just admitting it just can’t be done, VW added software to make the cars act clean when they were tested and told the world they had superior technology! Genius! I guess maybe that’s not lying since software is technology, but that’s about as authentic as state-subsidized school lunches counting ketchup as a vegetable.

Worse yet for the German collective conscience is that VW didn’t just produce a lot of hot air telling tall tales of top technology, but spewed trillions more harmful particles and emissions into our already over-heated globe. So much for leading on the environmental front!

But if you look a bit deeper, it’s not just the VW scandal. The last couple of years there’s also been a gambling scandal about match-fixing in the top German football leagues. And the welcoming refugee PR campaign is starting to reveal policies that are emerging that let everyone come in, but then they will be screened, checked, analyzed, and only the best, most educated, who can fill the the gaps in an economy-threatening dwindling German workforce will get to stay. The rest will be, how should I put this, eliminated? You know, deported, sent back to whatever bleak existence that made them flee their Motherlands in the first place. Only the those with the right profile will get to stay in the Fatherland…


The only thing that seems to be authentic for now is a strong economy. Must be all those VWs they sold!

All this makes me wonder whether there is some truth to the long-held  euro-skeptics view that Germany’s efforts to integrate and strengthen the European Union as a way to make up for all its past sins of trying to rule the world at all costs is, well, just another way to rule the world at all costs?

Honestly, I don’t think so. I don’t think Germany is doing anything worse than countless other countries in the world.

There have been many automotive scandals – most of them in the USA.

There are many international companies out there which are much less ethical and even worse for the planet and humans in general than VW.

And Germany is hardly alone in its refugee roulette, the rest of Europe is no better.

And football match fixing scandals, or any sporting scandals for that matter, are so common all over the world its funny anyone even writes about them any more.

Where does this leave us with the current German identity crisis? Is Germany really such a bad place? Not at all if you ask me. It’s still one of the most peaceful, tolerant, clean, abundant, and generous societies in the world. I think the only problem that it has is a tendency to think itself somehow superior. Of course, is that just a German thing? I know America still likes to think of itself as the greatest country in the world and is happy to tell the world this in almost every major political speech in the last century but the truth is most people think they come from the greatest country in the world – their own of course.

So, next time you see ‘Made In Germany’ and think, “Whoa, watch out!” ask yourself if it really makes that much difference if it says ‘Made In China’ or ‘Made in USA’. As far as I can tell, scandals and hypocrisy are a global currency, and soon the latest smoke of the latest scandals which happen to be in Germany will blow over and give way to the next topical tragedy somewhere else for all of us to shake our heads and wag our fingers at.

Who knows, maybe next thing we’ll learn is that all of this is just a mastermind Japanese plot to sell more electric cars made by refugees and convince the world that Sumo wrestling is the greatest sport in the world.

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